Cornucopia Nanaimo

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The true expectations and realities of a munch

This is a question often posed by those just getting up the courage to come out of their safe zone and find some public activity. The following is a journal post that does an excellent job of answering so many of the questions posed.

Permission was gained from the writer to post it and is a general description of what to expect at a munch and not direct Cornucopia policy, please see our officially posted rules for further information, enjoy

Munches: Expectation vs Reality

Journal Entry by Dark_Lohena

1. Expectation: it's clique-y
Reality: People will look at you, but they more times than not they will welcome you. You just have to take the time to get to know people.

2. Expectation: Munches are full of One twue wayers who will down me.
Reality: Munches are actually full of newbies, and old veterans who are people just like you.

3. Expectation: They are full of old people
Reality: There are people of all ages, and all walks of life

4. Expectation: Everyone is there to try and hook up
Reality: Everyone is there mainly to visit with friends, and talk to the community. Very few are there to hook up, and the ones who are rarely stay long term.

5. Expectation: There are predators there, and they will hurt you.
Reality: The community will work it's hardest to protect everyone from predators, and when they get wind of a predator, they (in majority of cases) will ban said people.

6. Expectation: They are boring
Reality: They are what you make them. If you sit on your own, and don't try to meet others, then you will be bored.

7. Expectation: I'm going so I can hook-up
Reality: You will be disappointed, some may be there to hook up, but the chances are slim. More likely than not, the singles are there to meet others.

8. Expectation: I don't want to go to munches because I know everything there is to know about BDSM
Reality: -____- You will NEVER know everything that comes to BDSM, and if you think you do, you know nothing.

9. Expectation: The people are just a bunch of weird perverts who have creepy fetishes.
Reality: But I am a FUN weird pervert :)

10. Expectation: Everyone is going to come onto me
Reality: People aren't there to hunt you down like the golden snitch. Just relax, meet people, have fun.

11. Expectation: There isn't anyone like me there.
Reality: You would be surprised, and if there aren't who cares? Different walks of life, different kinks, different roles make for great friends, and they may know people who share your interests. And if you only look for people just like you, it is going to get stale, shake your bubble up a bit.

12. Expectation: No one will like me
Reality: How do you know that? People will either like you or not, it's not your job to makeup their mind, be yourself.

13. Expectation: OH NOES! there are Doms everywhere
Reality: There are normal guys there, who happen to be Doms, and aren't Big Bad Wolves.

14. Expectation: Everyone is going to judge me.
Reality: And aren't you doing the same thing right at this moment?

Just my two cents and change about munches, I attend them, I love them, and they are fun :)

For New folks or those Sitting on the Fence

In an effort to find items that will be of assistance to those looking for training and mentoring, we will keep looking for articles and writings like the munch one and this one so that those with questions, but not quite ready to ask, can take the time to read the words of others that have been just where you are perhaps right now.

This piece was allowed with permission from Everhappy, thank you.

Read enjoy comment and welcome

I recently wrote my little heart out, and was requested to share it on here. It's based on my experiences being new to events, and perspectives that I have developed over time.

While no two people's experiences are the same, this is a snapshot of my journey to date, and it might inspire or bring confidence to anyone who can relate.

-Before I went to munches or parties-

I didn’t worry as much about people’s safety.

...but I didn’t realize how much safer it would feel to have a network of real-life local friends.

Meeting people from the internet was much less frightening.

...but I didn’t realize that for some, avoiding public events was the way that they stayed hidden and preyed on newbies.

I thought that my life as an active kinkster would involve playing all the time, as often as possible.

...but I didn’t understand how it would feel to be patient and not frenzied for contact, sensation, experience.

I thought that my worth as a sub/bottom revolved around being desired.

...but I didn’t know how satisfying it would be to play when you can, with the people you care about.

I thought that I had to turn to others to fill the void or scratch that itch.

...but I didn’t realize how much self-care could contribute to the satisfaction of my needs.